Wednesday, December 28, 2005
I think the biggest problem with Christianity isn't God but people. People suck. I am starting to wonder if anyone really believes in God at all. If they did, wouldn't there lives reflect it? Wouldn't they actually care about others no matter the circumstance? I understand that people aren't perfect but there just seems that nobody actually cares. I want to believe that God is real. I do. But I want to see actual evidence in people's lives that God is good. I want to see Christians care more about peoples needs whether or not they believe in God. I have been a Christian for 10 years and I have felt at one point that I was called into ministry and to love people, but I am starting to doubt that its real when evidence of a changed heart is so vague, so fogged up. Even now, when I tell people I doubt God, they are more concerned with me losing faith than actually caring for me. I have been suicidial for awhile and I can't even get a pastor to contact me or my close friends to show any kind of compassion. They are just worried that I am going to hell not whether or not I am living in hell now. Maybe I'm just depressed. Maybe I am jus being apathetic, cynical and selfish but I can't help but think that there's got to be more than this if God is real.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hey I stumbled across your site on accident. I was actually trying to go to my private blog: nevertoolatekate. I just wanted to say that I hear your heart. It is okay to doubt God. It is okay to feel pain. Christianity isn't meant to be free of pain like everyone makes it out to be. I know this post was from a long time ago, but I hope you are doing better.
Dear Lord,
I pray that you will be with Katie, right now, this day, Father's Day. Reveal your love to her, ignite in her a continued love for others. I pray that you would meet her where SHE is at. Come to her. Be with her. I have no clue what is going on in her life, but I know that you love her no matter how far or how close she is to you. You never leave her or forsake her...even when it is hard here on earth. God, I echo Katie in that it seems like people don't really get what life is all about. People call themselves Christians...but where is there love, their genuiness, their acceptance, their realness? God, develop a crop of lovers. Teach us how to love and how to be loved. Please forgive me for falling short of your calling, forgive me for my laziness.
Lord, bring people into Katies life who can listen to her heart and her needs. Shower her with the body of Christ. May there be people who are obedient and willing to feed her soul.
Thank you,
Amen
Katie, don't give up when it seems like everyone else around you has and doesn't even know that they have. Even if at times you cannot feel or see that God's hands are reaching out for you, trust that He is there. His tears fall with yours. He loves you. Peace be with you my sister in Christ.
If you need a listening ear, email me at any time.
hjcuthbert@gmail.com
Peace,
Hannah
Post a Comment