this is for Jen... You challenge me to be a better follower of Christ... keep pressing me to get out of my comfortability.... you are the best....


I Choke
Choke on me
on who I am
I choke
I choke on pieces of
my insecurities
I'm soaked
in sweat of
my masturbatory lifestyle
A lifestyle
that only fulfills
my needs
my urges
my choices

I choke
and I choke
I go for the layup
and freeze
wondering who is watching
too scared to face
face the realities of the present future
I choke
coughing
gasping
like a fish just out barely out of reach of water
unable to breathe in
the air of God
I'm soaked
with sailt stained reminants
of tears
I can no longer cry
for a people I no longer care to know
for a people I no longer care to care about
And I choke

I choke
stuttering on my own understanding
sputtering out words of the me I rely on

I choke
and choke
and choke
UGH!!!!
when will I finally reliquish control
and allow his resessatation
inflate my lungs
inflate my spirit
inflate all of me
so I'm no longer in grasp of a gasp of air
No longer anywhere near the need to gag
to Choke