I think the biggest problem with Christianity isn't God but people. People suck. I am starting to wonder if anyone really believes in God at all. If they did, wouldn't there lives reflect it? Wouldn't they actually care about others no matter the circumstance? I understand that people aren't perfect but there just seems that nobody actually cares. I want to believe that God is real. I do. But I want to see actual evidence in people's lives that God is good. I want to see Christians care more about peoples needs whether or not they believe in God. I have been a Christian for 10 years and I have felt at one point that I was called into ministry and to love people, but I am starting to doubt that its real when evidence of a changed heart is so vague, so fogged up. Even now, when I tell people I doubt God, they are more concerned with me losing faith than actually caring for me. I have been suicidial for awhile and I can't even get a pastor to contact me or my close friends to show any kind of compassion. They are just worried that I am going to hell not whether or not I am living in hell now. Maybe I'm just depressed. Maybe I am jus being apathetic, cynical and selfish but I can't help but think that there's got to be more than this if God is real.